Hello Drowziness My Old Friend...

My wife does a lot (a ton) for me, and for that I am eternally grateful. But one of the things that will make me be indebted to her for the rest of my life is her bringing Oatmeal Crème Pies back into my life. I forgot about OCP’s years ago when I was 12, but she recently started buying them again. The issue I have with OCP’s is today when I opened up the box and packed my lunch I noticed a label on the box that read, “America’s #1 Oatmeal Crème Pie.” My first question is… Isn’t it America’s ONLY Oatmeal Crème Pie? They have kind of trademarked the name right? It would be more accurate to say America’s #1 Oatmeal Treat, or just “Little Debbie is a dirty whore who makes delicious oatmeal snacks.” Wouldn’t this kind of be like Honda marketing the Civic as “America’s #1 Honda Civic” or someone saying Guy Fieri is a deutsch? These things are given! You can’t market something as #1 if there is no #2.

Today if you haven’t noticed is St. Patrick’s Day! I am currently wearing a green shirt, and underwear with a green stripe in them (last time I wore them was last St. Patrick’s Day, hence the green stripe). My thought though is that St. Patrick’s Day is much better when it is on a Friday or Saturday. Remember Mason Pub, back-to-back years? Remember what made those knights great (besides Doc Brown and the Jiggawatts)? St. Patrick’s Day those years were on weekend days. I think now that we finally have an Irish President he should change St. Patrick’s Day to the second Saturday in March. This will prevent all the d-bags that call in sick to work on March 17th from being fired on March 18th.


Finally… My son. Look at that picture. How can you not love that kid? I’ll tell you how. When it is 5:00 in the morning and he is screaming at the top of his tiny lungs and you’ve gotten approximately 13 minutes of sleep all knight and you have to get up for work in an hour! Look don’t drop the “that’s how babies are” or “it’ll get better” or “the first month is the worst” I know, I know. I just want to vent here. We thought we had his knights and days figured out last week, but the last 4 knights have been awful. The only funny thing is after his late knight feeding I’m holding him trying to get him to sleep and he’s just looking at me with those big eyes saying, “ha, you schmuck, it’s midknight and I’m not even entertaining the idea of falling asleep.” If he had control of his middle finger I’m sure he would be flipping me off.

P.S. He's not cross-eyed, he just looks like he is in that picture!