Friday, December 26, 2008

Back to work!

This is from Simon's favorite show Time Warp. yikes.

SNIZZAPP! Awwww Dang, nasty.

Festivus for The Restivus!

Brian Fellows Safari Planet Part 1 - For more funny movies, click here
That Bird is a LIAR!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Birthday Jesus...

1984 Callahan family portrait! Notice Brian is nowhere to be found!

Like most adults Christmas has drastically changed for me over the past 4-5 years. I remember the sleepless knights leading up to Christmas and imagining opening all of the presents that Brian and had found months ago, but couldn’t remember what they looked like. I always thought of my brother’s birthday Dec. 17th as the day in which my Christmas Madness began. It was like 2 separate countdowns the first took quite a while (to get to Brian’s birthday) and the other (Brian’s birthday to Christmas) took FOREVER!!! Now it’s just different, we know about how much money the parents spend on us (way too much) and we simply ask for that amount of money in presents. We go over to their house and get all the stuff we asked for. Don’t get me wrong I greatly appreciate what we get from my parents (we’re getting a video camera this year for the love of God), but it’s just different. Maybe because my brother and I anticipated the day so much, that the fall has been so drastic. With that I give you my TOP 5 Christmas Gifts of ALL TIME!!!

5. When Brian and I were little, the parents got us golf clubs. These things were sweet. Steel shafted clubs with plastic heads, pretty heavy duty for a 5 and 7 year old. The best part about this was not the gift necessarily, but watching the (soundless) home video 20 years later. Brian and I are running around the living room hitting plastic golf balls with our clubs, and WHACK!!! Brian hits Annie (our black lab) straight in the ribs with his follow through! It looked something on the Sopranos he hit her so hard, it was beautiful.

4. Electronic Pop-a-Shot Basketball. This thing was great, my uncle Dave gave Brian and I this and we played it for hours at my grandparents house that knight! The best part was that it was one of the first pop-a-shots that just hung on the back of a door so it was easily portable. It was one of the few Christmas presents that stood the 2 month test, in that we were still playing with it more than 2 months after Christmas. Hell we were playing with it the next Christmas!

3. OG Sony Playstation. We reeeeeaaaallllllllyyyyyy wanted this, and our parents had us CONVINCED that it was not gonna happen. I had never been so sure (and bummed out) that I was NOT getting a present, but we did. I have no idea where they hid it, but we couldn’t find it so I was sure it wasn’t going to happen. When it did it made it the best gift of the year, by far.

2. Starting Lineups! One year Brian and got at least 50 (no lie) Starting Lineups for Christmas! The best part was that my parents put them ALL in a box and put on it To: Mom, From: Santa. So we are paying no attention at all as she is opening her gift (because we’re 8 years old!) and she opens it and says “that’s strange I didn’t ask for Starting Lineups?” Brian and I went nuts!

1. Super Jock Football kicker! I don’t think I need to say anymore, but this was not only the best gift I’ve ever gotten, it may be the best toy ever made! If you don’t know what a Super Jock is (where have you been) he’s basically a plastic football dude, and you slam your hand on his head and his foot kicks the ball. They give you the uprights and you try to kick field goals. It was awesome. Until I broke dude’s neck kicking a (then) world record of 21 feet! I slammed his head so hard that it forced his head into his chest, ending his career! We were on the lookout for years after this to find another one. Then Al Gore invented the internet (God bless that man and his ingenuity) and Ebay. On Ebay I purchased a replacement Super Jock (for 50 bucks) and he is still alive today!

What was your favorite gift? Merry Christmas Yall!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Feliz Navi Christmas!!!

Christmas Tree Incineration - Watch more News Videos
This is why I rock the fake prelit tree.

Large Bomb Detonated Under Lake - Watch more Entertainment
See Batman is a fraud! This is what really happens when you dump a bomb in a lake!

The Wunder Boner - Watch more Free Videos
Tell me the narrator isn't Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs.

As these morons tell you... "Don't fry a turkey in your living room!" No better yet, if you are considering doing that GO AHEAD! The world could use one less moron!

Maybe the best movie scene ever!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Heil Splash Mountain!

That's better than throwin up NWO Wolfpac on Adventure Express with a German foreign exchange student the day after graduation right there.

Anyway, upon my triumphant return to the office these past 11 months i have realized many things. Among them... It's always bright and 72 degrees in my office, you can post stuff on blogs if you are at your computer all day and I need a (hot) secretary among other things. But this week I have come to realize a big thing. It's easy to get fat working in an office. The past 3 years I've forgotten how much free crap (candy) people who want your business give out around the holidays. It's ridiculous really, today alone we have gotten 3 boxes of chocolate covered pretzels (like big 4 inch wide pretzels), 2 cans of butter cookies (the good ones) and the 4 foot tall Ghiradelli (sp?) Chocolate tower (in a related story Chocolate Tower was also my nickname in college). I had the misfortune of looking at the nutritional (there are none) facts of the stuff in said tower, and I swear I gained 2 pounds reading it. Needless to say after I read it I got out a chocolate covered graham cracked and stuffed it down my pie hole (which reminds me I forgot about the Baccolavah (sp?) that someone dropped off this morning). I used to think how do people gain 10 pounds during the holidays? This was when I spent the majority of my day driving a pickup truck around Kentucky not eating a thing. Now I realize it's not just 2 days of eating, It's an entire month of gorging yourself!

I say recession schmeschmessin I saw the bill for $2,200 worth of fruit baskets my company purchased this week. That was for only 27 baskets! Then we buy a crapload of Pepperidge Farm stuff for our "second-tier" clients aka if we've bid something and we didn't get it. It's fun to me though to examine each gift and try to figure out how much it costs. I say the tower is no less than 75 bucks! But it's funny to see that the people who are sending the best stuff are the people who are DESPERATE for our work. I don't think I've seen anything from the schmucks on any of my jobs. I'll bring that up in our next meeting, they need to show me the goods to get the next job. Now if you'll excuse me something called "Ghiradelli Chocolate Drops" are callin my name!

Friday, December 12, 2008

This is how we do it.

Fat Guy Falls Flat on Face - Watch more free videos
Why are you riding around in a bakers rack again???

Chick's Kick Leads to Unexpected Ending - Watch more Free Videos
***Warning some F-Bombs in here, but it's worth it!***
As if the kick to the face wasn't bad enough, wait for the Bam Bam Biggilo Splash.

Darren where you at? I've always wondered what these things look like OUTSIDE of someone's trunk!

The Family Guy clip from last week reminded me of my favorite FG clip...EVER!

I've been looking for this for the past few weeks.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hey Kids I'm a Computah...

Justin is laughing right now only him.

First let me say this. If you were not watching the UC game Saturday knight/Sunday morning you missed out! I've never had the range of emotions watching a sporting event that I had watching that game. As they were losing 24-10 and looking horrible with 10 minutes left in the game I was pissed! My thought was that it didn't matter if they won their BCS game or not, the entire season was going to be tainted (haha taint) by a loss to Hawaii. I was imagining all the calls to radio shows that haters were going to be making today and all the flack they were going to get. Then something great happened, your boy Brandon Underwood picked a pass and took it to the house. That I think was the first time I woke Lindsey up with a yell, 24-17. After the TD UC held Hawaii and got the ball back with decent field position I was excited. Of course they went 3 and out and punted. Let me take this chance to say that having a All-American punter should not be taken for granted. Punt downed inside the 1 yard line. First play UC stuffs the run and causes a fumble in the endzone recovered by Hawaii for a safety, 24-19. Lindsey is woken up again. First play after the safety free kick, your boy Mardy (not Marty) Gilyard takes it to the house 71 yards, 24-26. She may have been awake from the safety, but I'm gonna say that I woke her up again. It was great I felt like they accomplished alot by coming from behind (simon insert comment here) and getting the win in a game that meant nothing and they could have easily rolled over.

We also received shipment of our 1st new computer of the millennium this weekend. Whoda thunk that after me and Kevin Walters spent the first 20 minutes of the new millennium trying to become the first person to do something in the new millennium, that I would also be the LAST person to do something in the new millennium! It's pretty safe to say that everyone in the world has bought a computer since 2000 now that the Callahan house has purchased theirs. I'd like to thank J Hall for being my computer liaison (that sounds dirty) during this process and answering questions such as "is this computer crap" "what is sdram?" "will my new gay porn site be able to be run from a computer with a terrabyte of storage" and "when did they stop making Commodore's?" It was a long process J I know, but I thank you for your patience.

SSSSOOOOOOOOOO what were you doing at 3 a.m. Sunday morning?

Friday, December 5, 2008

It's been a while...

Crazy Gideon's Insane Deals! - Watch more free videos
Why did I not buy my computer from Crazy Gideon?

Massive Escalator Leap and Faceplant - Watch more free videos
He ALMOST made it.

He Shoots He Almost Scores - Watch more free videos
I wonder what the goal here was???

Monday, December 1, 2008

I Sunk YOUR Battleship.

That is how it typically works in my house. Boys play Battleship while girls do dishes! Right off the top, I'm gonna appologize for Friday's video fiasco. I should have done it when I got home from Best Buy (5:30 AM!!!), but I decided to wait and never got to it. It won't happen again (until next year day after Thanksgiving). Anyway, the wife and I have been looking to replace her computer (Gateway purchased in 1999 after she graduated). It's been a long time coming, but we finally decided to bite the bullet and Black Friday was to be the day. We found the one we liked at Best Buy so I ventured out at 4:30 on Friday morning only to be greeted by 1,000 of my closest friends at the Best Buy on Fields Ertel. Those crazy bastards beat me there! I figured I was there so I might as well go in. Once inside I was greeted by a annoyed high schooler in the computer section who informed me that they ran out of computer coupons "like, an hour ago." So I throw her a "that's cool I'll go to" which had totally no affect on her. Oh well long story short (too late) I'll be surfin the intrawebs in style in a few weeks when the Dell arrives.

Saturday Knight was my 10 year reunion. It was a day I kind of dreaded/anticipated for a while. Lindsey informed me that I was going back in June so I really didn't have much choice. Overall I guess I would say that it was ok. I had a chance to reconnect with some people that I hadn't seen in a while Brian Merkle, Ben Willen, Tom Taylor etc. My favorite encounter was with Jason Brown, who I am sure is still high from the last time I saw him. I mean I spent alot of time with Jason in HS and when I saw him at the bar he just goes "sup man" (use you best "I'm high and drunk" voice when reading that). Is he that toasted that he doesn't even remember me? We were like best friends for a few years. Anyway they had a bunch of embarassing pictures on the tables and guess what gem I stumbled upon...

That strapping young man now rocks a pretty snazzy mustache. Steve Bragg hollah at cha boy. Is that Mandy Major he's hooking up with there? P.I.M.P. They also gave us back these cheezy surveys that we filled out at the Senior Banquet before we graduated. It was pretty boring except that under who I had a crush on I wrote... Mrs. Disbro. 10 years later it still holds true. Other than that I tried to get The Dunner drunk (unsuccessful) and LaKeisha's hair did NOT catch on fire as it did the last time I saw her.

And J I will add this part for you. I had my first experience with a Zune on Sunday while tailgating. I will give it a solie B+. After I figured out that you can browse other songs while listening to the current one by pressing the back arrow button (I had it at a D- before that) it was much better. I will say this about it and it is my same complaint about the IPod, I wanna know what song it is playin next if I have it on shuffle. When I am DJ'in Bengals tailgate I need to know what is next and so on so I don't have to run back to the IPod every song. Work on that!