Friday, August 29, 2008

You know ho we do.

As Justin would say... PWNED!

Alicia Sacramone Knocks Dude Out - Watch more free videos
This video was requested by The Dunner. You might not know this, but you can request videos for this segment.

What did Tiki just call her? Pay attention at 31 seconds. Also requested by the Dunner! I don't know if you caught any of Tiki and this chick during the Olympics, but if you did then you agree with me... There's no way these 2 weren't nailing eachother.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I Love MO!

This is why I love Mo Egger! I get so much crap for him being my hero and all but he is hillarious! Below you will see a picture, below that you will see his only comments to that picture.

Top Row (L-R): Yup, nope, nope, nope, nope, yup, nope, yup
Middle Row (L-R): Yup, yup, nope, nope, nope, yup, yup, yup
Front Row (L-R): Yup, yup, yup, yup, nope, yup, nope, nope


Friday, August 22, 2008

Movie Madness > Pregnancy!

They only showed Phelps on NBC, not the guy that he beat.


I always wondered what that would be like.

How Not To Do A Backflip - Watch more free videos

Thursday, August 21, 2008

"Look at the size of that kids head!"

Ladies and Gentleman let me be the first to let you know... I HAVE PROCREATED! I'll have many of these in the coming months, but my first question is, how come the head is ginormous and the rest of the body isn't? With a melon like that I'm glad I'm not pushin that thing out! For real though, we are super siked about our new addition to the Callahan family, now the countdown is on to when we find out that it is a boy. If you are wondering (you're not if you're a guy) Lindsey is about 12 weeks pregnant and just had this ultrasound done today. Now I will give you my do's and don't's (how do you spell donts?) of pregnancy doctors visits!

DON'T make eye contact with the Dr. when they're you know... down yonder.
DO stock up on rubber gloves typically located under the exam table (my dad taught me that a long time ago, they come in handy for many around the house chores).
DON'T yell "been there" right before the Dr. goes under the hood.
DON'T look at the ultrasound probe thingy and ask "wow with the size of that thing, why isn't it black?"
DON't read ANY magazines in the waiting room, they will all just gross you out!
Do take all the free samples that you can get your grubby hands on. Even if they are for chicks, if you crush up ANY pill and snort it, it's gonna be awesome (kids don't snort anything).
DON't say a word. You input at these visits is ABSOLUTELY UNWANTED and UNNEEDED!
and finally...
DON'T take your pants off and sit on the examination table with your feet in the stirr-ups. The Dr. doesn't like it and your wife will punch you (I'll show you the bruise).

That is my list I'm sure that my wife is mad at me, but hey she knows it's all in fun and how pumped I am to be a daddy.

Poll Question: Should I find out the sex of the baby? This is more of a trivia question than poll question since there is an obvious answer.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Pourin' one out for my dead NASCAR homies!

I don't even like NASECAR but that picture is AWESOME! He was either pourin one out for "The Intimidator" or Bernie Mac... You decide (hint, the answer is the guy who's not black!) Let me tell you how glad I was to blow 140 bucks on a Bengals game last Knight! Luckily I traded my Saints ticket for a second Lions ticket and I only have to endure 1 preseason game this year, but it was awful. We headed down to the Bengals Proshop at halftime and decided to not go back up to the seats and just go home. Lindsey was, dare I say it... uninterested. But atleast she can no longer say that she has never been to a game! The fact that I am forced to pay regular price ($70 per game) for preseason, to me is mind boggling. I'd never pay 20 bucks to watch a spring training game (even though we paid 45 to watch a Yankees-Reds game, but that was different.) I wouldn't say that I am terrified for the Bengals season (mostly because I think they are a .500 team), but they don't look good. If it wasn't for Carson's spectacular TD drive (against the Packer's back-ups) last week, the first team would be scoreless! I just honestly don't see them winning more than 8 games this year, sorry but that is my prediction. I think I just have this terrible sickness which remains nameless, that makes it impossible for me to not like the Bengals. I wish this could be cured I really do. I remember "switching" over to the Packers during the Majowski era. That lasted a year or so and I was back. Then I wanted to root for the Colts, but that lasted 3 weeks. I dunno maybe I should jump on the Patriots bandwagon like The Gooch did, we'll see.

What do you think the Bengals will do this year? 18-1 and lose the $uper Bowel?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Slow Motion For Me.

Kid Misses Dunk Slams Head Instead - Watch more free videos
I know how Simon loves the slow motion!

Hot Reporter Completely Owned by Zorb - Watch more free videos
She deserved it for trying to talk like a G.

Cheerleaders Face Destroyed By Soccer Ball - Watch more free videos
Einen Cheerleaderen! Slow motion German sounds even more satanic.

Polar Bear Doesnt Need to Flush - Watch more free videos
I'm going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo... Toknight!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

"My what sunken eyes you have..."

So as I was watching the Olympics toknight I saw this chick from Australia and only one thing came to mind. Have you ever seen "Band of Brothers"? They stumble along a concentration camp and all of the prisoners in there look like... THAT CHICK! Sad part is this picture does no justice to how horrible she looks. She was at the blocks eyes all sunken in and black. And the swim cap doesn't help either. That is all, I'm goin to bed now.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Got It Son!

Welp I just got back from Wally World where I purchased my copy of Madden 09'. Full report to come tomorrow. I have already warned all parties at the ranch that I will be completely worthless (compared to normal days) toknight! It's Madden from the time I get home til the time I leave for softball. Every year I contemplate skipping softball to play Madden and every year I wuss out. Maybe it's because (formerly) Kirsch's Automotive is in the middle of a dare I say it... PENNANT ($2plaque) CHASE!!! We went from last season (completely defeated except once) to undefeated (oh yeah we dropped down a league). Kirsch's Auto, ala Kenyon Martin is a classic "tweener." We're just too damn sexy to play in the middle league and not good enough in the field to play in the upper.

In other sports news, There you go Reds fans quit cryin, you got your way (me included). This is why I love Cincinnati, on the radio all I have heard since 2006 is people cryin about how they need to get rid of Dunn and Jr. and start over. Guess what it happened and all you hear is people cryin about how they got rid of Dunn and Griffey (for nothing). Kwestion... What was The Jock gonna get for Dunn or Griffey? Yes Jr. is a first ballot HOF'er (haha F'er) but dude is over the hill and in the last year of his contract. The Sox aren't gonna give us their entire farm system for 2 months of Jr. We're lucky we got a middle of the road MLB reliever. And Dunn? Thanks for shoppin D-Bags I mean Backs, let me know how that works for you. Atleast Arizona fans will get to experience the joy of playing the Dunner "Home Run or K Game." I know I know "we could of gotten draft picks at the end of the year (imagine that in your whiny voice)." Clearly The Jock didn't see us doing any better with those draft picks than a 24 year old just off Tommy Johns and some names to be named later. Look Walt hasn't burned me yet so I still trust him. Plus he has that shiny diamond encrusted thing on his finger that tells me he knows what he's doing!

Finally Michael Stinkin Phelps! Why am I watching the Olympics so much? Him. dude is ridiculous, there is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said about what he's done so far. My expert analysis of his form (if you didn't know it I took 2nd place in the 200 IM at The Rolling Hills Invitational in 1987) he's gooder than everybody else! Also I swam 40 laps (at the PRF pool so actually 4 laps at a real pool) in the swim-a-thon that year. For real there is a picture of me in a Speedo somewhere in my parents house. I'll find it. What was I talking aboout? Oh yeah Phelps WATCH HIM!!! If you aren't then you are missing out on something special period! (exclamation point)

Are you watching the Olympics? What is your favorite part?

Friday, August 8, 2008

Daddy loves you...

In honor of the Olympics, I bring you some guy that shouldn't have even made the trip! The video is long, but still comedy when they show the record line at the end.

Dumb Exercise Ball Stunt - Watch more free videos

Shy Dog Has a Surprise for the Camera - Watch more free videos
God Loves A Terrior!

Happy August 8th!

Wow what a long strange trip the last 13 years have been since that 9 fingered hippie kicked the bucket! Celebrate August 8th by being thankful that dead people can't write anymore horrible music!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Watter Bullet (coffin) here I come!

Kid Chugs 64oz of Gatorade - Watch more free videos
The caption said this is 64 oz of Garorade, I say it looks like 32 oz. Still impressive!

How Not To Ride A Rail - Watch more free videos
OK here's the thing, you see the rail and expect a nut shot... What you didn't expect was full facial to the bleachers!

The Hardest Part of Rollerblading... - Watch more free videos
What is the hardest part about rollerblading???

I was talking to someone about the ESPYS and how great they were this year, but I forgot about this.

So last knight when I was the only one watching the XGames (that's right they still do the XGames) I saw this... Here is the crazy part, dude got up and did 4 more runs. AND CAME IN SECOND!!! He was told after this that his foot was broken, but went back out anyway. Moron? You tell me.