Friday, October 31, 2008

Go Irish!

Rays Fan Takes Bottle to the Head - Watch more free videos
This is why Philly needs to NEVER win another Championship.

Terrible Treadmill Fail by Fat Kid - Watch more free videos

Proof yet again of how much better stuff is in slow motion.

It seems like we all enjoyed Unnecessary Censorship last time, so now I give you the Best of Unnecessary Censorship!

Monday, October 27, 2008

If I had a gun, I'd be dead!

This may be the most grim weekend of sports for the tristate area in recent past. Saturday was a complete debacle starting with UC getting stomped by UConn. If you're a UK fan it didn't get much better (well worse actually), and Saturday knight was wrapped up with maybe the worst college football game of all time (OSU vs. Penn State). Let me just take this opportunity that my yearly endorsement has gone to Penn State. This ensures a few things (mainly that they will not win a game for the rest of the year) for the Lions, but my main priority is sending Joe Pa out (hopefully) with a National Championship. Dude deserves it, he's like 105 years old and is the lowest paid major college football coach in the nation. Then on to Sunday, I'm not gonna spend much time here other than to say that if you are a Bengals fan your weekend got worse!
The hilight of my Sunday was watching the Red Zone Channel on the Sunday Ticket for 4 hours of goodness! That may be my favoritest channel ever! If you wanna watch endless (sometimes too much to follow) action WITHOUT COMMERCIALS then this is your channel. this channel alone makes me wish I didn't have Bengals tickets. Open invitation to anyone (both of you) reading this, if you want your life changed come and watch the Red Zone Channel during the 1 o'clock games.
My final thing is kind of a poll question. In fact I will make it a poll question. With myself and the wife going to the Notre Dame - Pitt game this weekend is it ok for me to wear my Brady Quinn jersey to the game? My first point is that it does meet my first requirement for wearing a jersey in that it is authentic. If you know me then you know I'm not "UnAuthentic Jersey Guy!" Second he is kind of a recent legend at ND, it's not like I have a Rick Meirer jersey from when I was 12 that I want to wear! Brady Quinn was their last superstar. But it does violate the do not wear a jersey of someone who doesn't play for you team anymore rule that I like to live by. That is more aof an NFL rule, does it apply to NCAA?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Friday (not so great day for videos)

Might not be safe for your work... Totally acceptable at mine though!

The Gooch showed me this 5 second movie (even though it is more than 5 seconds) still great!

I hate when I go to jump in a big cake and find out that it is a stage cake and almost knock myself out! That's what she get for kissing a girl and liking it. This chick might be a close second on the talentless singer chart right behind our girl Amy.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cupid packs a mean punch!

Let me tell you why DirecTV may just be the devil as much as Time Warner. As I am driving home Sunday afternoon from another colossal waste of $77 I was dreaming of how I could spend the rest of my afternoon watching real football... ANY GAME I WANTED! So I get home and flip on my TV to channel 7 hundred something and what do ya know, no NFL Sunday Ticket! So naturally I call DirecTV and after 20 minutes or so I have my games. NOT IN HD! So I say to her, the HD channels are not coming in. "Well sir you have to UPGRADE your package to get all the games in HD." Then she tells me that doing so will cost me (get ready for it) ONE HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS!!! Are you kidding me? I immediately tell the lady noo way in hell is the wife gonna authorize that purchase, and she says, "Hold on let me see what I can do" (classic tv company trick). 30 seconds later hey whatta ya know I'll give it to you for free! That right thurr is some bullsh! She was gonna charge me a hundo for something she knew she was gonna give me for free! That's like when I used to be a manwhore, if I said hey it's gonna cost you an extra 35 cents for me to suck your toes, and when they said no I did it for free anyway! I never charged for toe sucking, it was always part of the package!

As I was reading the (online) paper today I read about this old chick in Blue Ash who had a football thrown in her yard and the old blue hair kept it! The kids' dad called the cops and the old lady got cuffed and stuffed and thrown in the pokey for a few hours. I'm sure you have already heard this story, but the crazy part to me is that people are actually backing this old lady! What harm is it to go in your neighbor's back yard and get your ball if it goes over the fence? Maybe this is just me having grown up in PRF where all WAS wonderful and neighbors were all friendly (and all our parents were hooking up with eachother behind our backs), but who is the victim here? How is this affecting the old lady at all? If my neighbors kept every ball that Brian or I threw over the fence when we were little there would be no room in their garage for a car. This lady was on the radio and made it seem like she was soooo inconvenienced by this. How does this bother you at all? They throw the ball over, they open your fence door and get their ball, end of story. Quit being a crotchety old blue hair and give the damn kids their ball back. This is why nursing homes and Dr. Kevorkian exist! One or the other NEEDS to happen.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

22 Minutes Early!

This is kind of like Cliff's Notes for movies, only better.

Who knew Tom Green was even still alive??? For real dude is str8 flowin though! X to tha Z was impressed.

Big Chick Falls Off Table - Watch more free videos
Like we all don't know what's about to happen when some chick is singing on top of a table. Doesn't make it any less funny!

Kayaker Rides Down Staircase - Watch more free videos
This is how JHall and Darwin do it right here! Too bad dude didn't land on his face at the bottom.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Dish Me Baby!

I knew IT!

Today is a glorious day in the Callahan household. As my previous post stated Oct. 14th is the day in which the Dish gets installed!!! I have just heard from the installer and it is going to happen so as of this second I am giving Time warner Cable (and their superior high speed internet, Sorry J) the middle finger. They officially get no money from the Callahan's in their new home! Now finally I can go back to ignoring my wife's comments and enjoying glorious television! Problem is I still have to watch my programs (as my grandma would say) that I taped from last knight on the antenna. Great, all this tochnology and I'm still usin rabbit ears.

Why did I have to tape my programs last knight you ask? Oh that would be because we were busy RETURNING the greatest chair ever assembled!!! My chair, my beloved chair (I fall quickly as you can see) IS THE WRONG STINKIN COLOR! Granted this is all our (my) fault, but see it kind of doesn't match anything else in our family room. When I pushed for the brown (poop) colored chair, I forgot that the rest of the room is red couches and black wood. (I know black wood funny huh huh). So we went back to La-z-Boy and of course they do not have black in that chair... in stock. But you sir can wait an additional 6-8 weeks for us to make that chair in black... FOR AN EXTRA 200 BUCKS!!! I better die in this chair! We have now spent the same amount on my chair as we did the rest fot the sofa's in that room. Keep in mind, I love this chair. It's worth the cash.

P.S. what should I watch first on my dish? I'm kind of leaning towards going to pay per view and reading the adult film titles like we did at the farm! "Fill'er Up"

Monday, October 13, 2008

Turd Sandwich.

First let me say that this picture my friends is why you attend marathons. This and of course bloody nipples and people squatting on the side of the road. Let's start with Saturday. Saturday was a good day for me. Picked up the new La-Z-Boy in the morning and went to the UC-Rutgers (I mean Ruggers) game in the afternoon. Let me start by saying that I LOVE Brian Kelly, but that man needs to be shot for one reason alone. His slogan of come early, be loud, wear BLACK! Are you kidding me? It's friggin 98 degrees (and rising(that's right boy band sidebar)). For early season games we should be able to wear red or white not black. Lindsey's poor 88 year old grandpa was str8 blacked out head to toe. Black polyester pants, black collared shit=rt, all black (Deveroe's) Reds hat complete with black C! I thought he was gonna have a heat stroke! I didn't know it was possible to get sunburned in the middle of October, but it happened.
I got back in time to see my beloved Irish give the game away to UNC and then took a 1 hour nap in my new chair (not to be confused with the 1 hour nap in the chair on Sunday!) I guess my next question is this... When did North Carolina ***Editor's Note*** "Roy Williams still does not give a S^*T about North Carolina!*** become good at football. I'm not gonna lie I had this penciled in as a W back when I thought Notre Dame was only gonna win 3 games this year.
That brings us to Sunday, glorious Sunday. I am still investing 3 hours (next week 12 hours) in Bengals games every week. It's sad I know, but I have atleast gotten to the point where I just watch the games emotionless, trust me this is a big step for me. Three years ago I lived and died with every snap, I've broken countless remotes watching games as well. Now I just yawn when the other team scores and I take a nap in the 3rd quarter. Moving the sprinklers around the yard yesterday was more exciting to me than the game! Then we went to go see my sons future best friend (possibly brother) last knight. Tyler Dennis The Gooch Brad Jr. Buehler was born Saturday knight fyi. Congrats Gooch family. It was funny how Lindsey suddenly realized that we would be going through this in like 5 months! I guess it hadn't really sunk in yet, but I'm gonna be covered in woman goo in March! YUK!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Friday Videos RETURN!!!

How Not To Break A World Record - Watch more free videos
Someone call Guiness! This dude is TRYING! to break the record for karate chopping coconuts in half. Not so much.

Football Nails Kid in the Head - Watch more free videos
Keep your eye on the kids trying to catch the ball after it goes through the uprights.

Rachael Ray Corn Porn - Watch more free videos
Brian this is for you, It gets hillarious at about the 1:05 mark!

Unicycle Moron Crashes Hard on Deck - Watch more free videos
You sir would not make the Welch Widers traveling team... There will be no Miami basketball game and Axel F for you!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

H Yeah Dickberg!

So moving day was very much not a fiasco at all thanks to great movers! Dudes showed up at 8:15 loaded up from storage and headed to the new crib. For real they were gone by 12:00! $489 later I was a very happy boy! The only problem was that at 12:00 Friday there was just a bunch of boxes and stuff in the rooms of my house and it all still needed to be unpacked. Needless to say the past 4 days have been spent unpacking and putting up blinds and running downspout lines away from the house and all the other fun stuff that comes with owning a home. Here is the other revelation that we had. We don't own jack! All our worldly posessions fill the new house approximately 15-20% The kitchen is almost comical, our old kitchen was stuffed to the gills with our stuff. Now about 1/2 is filled, not to mention a pantyr that will never be able to be filled. The point of my story is this... I'm buying stuff! If you have anything that I can buy from you, then I am interested! I don't care how tacky it looks, how old it is or the fact that it smells like an old man took a Metamucil dump in it 25 years ago and left it to rot, I'm buying it from you if it will fill my house.

My favorite purchase that I will get to make in this new house is a dad chair! I've wanted a big rocker/recliner for a few years now and we finally have a room in which it will fit. I get a little misty eyed thinking of all the sporting events that we will share together and I don't even have it yet. I like Brian's but I don't know if I wanna do leather or that fake suede stuff. I love that Brian's chair has heat, massage and the best thing a cupholder! Who doesn't need a cupholder in their chair? (besides those people who have a table right next to the chair of course) I guess if Lindsey gets to buy dining room furniture and living room furniture than she will have NO input on my dad chair!

So to answer the 2 people who have asked me how the new house is... It's great. We are enjoying not being pissed all the time due to lack of personal space and a change of scenery. The most exciting part is that for the first time we are living in a house where we can see raising a family, and that my friends is a good thing.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Thursday Again?

OK so there is no chance of you getting videos tomorrow soooo...

I saw this Saturday knight on a hilight show and replayed it no less then 10 times. Might be the best catch I've ever seen!

Failed BMX Backflip Faceplant - Watch more free videos

Will He Fit? - Watch more free videos
I think I owe the Dunner a large sum of money for a similar pool stunt!

Japanese Dude Smashes Florescent Bulbs - Watch more free videos
WTF? Dude needs to go to the cancer ward pronto! There's all kinds of crap in that bulb. Kind of reminds you of Staples right Simon?

Damn Clowns!

Well my friends today is the day! My wife and I will forgo our freedoms as non-HOMOwners and become what I like to refer as “poor bastards” once again! After today at 4:00 in the PM we will again be indebted to The Man! Today is the day we roll up outta mom and dad’s house and back into freedom!!! Not that we have been in jail the last 5 months, but at the age of 28 it is hard to live with momz and pops after a few years of not doing so. It’s just that we have had a lack of personal space for the past few months (for real half our clothes are folded on the floor since we don’t have enough storage). I give them crap all the time, but really and truly I don’t know that I can ever thank my parents enough for letting us crash with them the past few months. It has been a great chance for us to save some cash before moving into the house.

We are pretty fired up about the new digs though. I think it is going to feel weird to be in this house that we have been visiting for the past few months. Truth be told it has never really felt like our new home this entire time. Maybe because I have seen so many houses built over the past 4 years that it kind of feels like just another job. I’m sure that will all change toknight when we walk through the doors with our keys and put some crap in the closets. So consider this your invitation. If you're bored this weekend and wanna come up and unpack a box (not really)consider yourself invited. It's not really as far as my brother or Simon (keep in mind Simon lives in Colerain) would have you believe.