Wednesday, March 26, 2008

All Praise Allah!!

OK I know not a face to crotch picture, but hey there are only so many good ones out there. This is still a great picture of how my dude in the Adidas Ninja suit ended up at the dentist's office. Welp if you don't know by now we have some great news on the condo front, if everything goes as planned we will soon be Former condo owners!!! I guess the old saying "If you own a boat your 2 best days are the day you buy it and the day you sell it," definitely applies to owning a condo. I need to raise up out of this madness of old people constantly bitching at eachother. For real there is a flyer on my door every day about why I should contact the condo association president and tell him to change what he is doing. Honestly I've wanted out since I was told I had to park my truck 200 yards from my back door, or maybe it was the fact that I can't have a trash can, cooler, shovel, recycling bin, or tiki torches on my back patio! This is a plea to both of the people who read my blog, I'm looking at you Lindsey and Darren, never buy a condo!!! It will only destroy your soul.

So I've been up in Springfield, OH all week trying not to screw up a $9,000,000 job, while my Superintendent is on vacation. Holy crap talk about a depressing city, I have never seen so many homeless people in my entire life. Today as I was peeing in the port-o-let, I witnessed a homeless guy carry on a 3 minute conversation with a telephone pole 10 feet away from me. It was nuts the whole time he is motioning to other people and yelling, I was actually kind of scared. All these people do is walk around "downtown" Springfield all day. I know that I could never imagine what the country must have looked like during the Depression, but this might be as close as I have ever seen. When we got this job the owner's talked about how the city was recruiting them pretty hard to be the keystone to Springfield's revitalization, but dang as my uncle George Harrison once told me, "It's gonna take time, a whole lotta precious time, it's gonna take patience and time, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it Right child!" OUT!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

1,000 Aire Tribe Hollah!

OK so I just saw that Ivan Dixon otherwise known as "Kinch" from Hogan's Heroes has passed away. Somewhere Murph is pouring one out for his boy, and weeping uncontrollably. More importantly, look at the picture... Dude has a part in his Fro!!! How awesome were the 70's? Sometimes I wish it were still the 70's and I could rock a leisure suit with a pink shirt with a fly-away collar. Both of my chest hairs would be flapping in the wind. So anyway, pray for Murph.

Finally I guess I have to give you balls to the face.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Do I Play Hockey???

HHHHUUUUGGGGEEEE knight ahead for me. For mein gaburtstag Brian hooked it up with some tickets to see your National Champion Miami Red(skins)hawks! Bam just like that, best birthday ever, then add in the fact that we're eating a pregame, and who knows maybe postgame meal at Bruno's, it is destined for a classic knight. I've never seen a game at the new arena, so that adds to the excitement of the event. One time Dunner and I went in to try to get tickets only to be turned away, we watched a kids game for a minute or two and that gave me a boner(no not the kids, the arena), so I can only imagine what will happen toknight. Let's just say you won't want to be standing 2-1/4 inches infront of my crotch toknight. I still say roadtrip to an NCAA tournament game if it's inside a 300 mile radius, who else is in? If Lindsey doesn't buy me a Miami jersey for my birthday present, we will be divorced by Monday, because my lawyer works weekends (he chases ambulances). Saturday is a big combined birthday celebration lunch (grandma's birthday is the 17th) so we (myself and uncle's and brother) will be in need of a ton of liquor Saturday knight, to forget about lunch. Sunday nothin, big open hoouse at 124 Chapel Hill so if you wanna own a condo (and trust me you don't) stop on in, it's F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S. So if you want to pound some Top-Flite's Sunday afternoon, hollah at cha boy.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Ewww, Fromunda Cheese!

My next promise is to include a picture in every post, from here on out. I especially enjoyed this one since Haseem Thabeet is about to put his bags on Rashad Bishop's forehead. How enjoyable of a game that must have been to watch, I simply turned it on when it was 58-18 and then turned the T.V. off. I had originally planned my entire Saturday around watching the game, only to find out I got postponed. The only thing I have to say is... Thank God it got postponed! Any time your team gets beat 96-51 or whatever the final was, that is classified as a "day ruiner."

I just heard on Rome that the human waste of flesh, Amy Weinhaus (or however you spell that waste of NOtalent's name) snorted VODKA! over the weekend. As you know I'm not usually opinionated (right) and I never say inappropriate things (sure), but that chick needs to die! She has been on suicide watch for the last year or so by her handlers, so my proposal is this... LET HER DO IT! No one is going to miss this crazy chick when she's gone, all she does is any available drug and make crappy music. So if any of her handlers are reading this (definitely) next time she grabs a handfull of pills or whatever just look the other way, and the world will be a better place for it.

Thursday, March 6, 2008


So I saw this picture on 1530 Homer's blog. I guess I finally figured out why Simon and The Gooch love soccer so much. If this is what happens when you score a goal, imagine what happens if you win the game! OK don't imagine it, I'll tell you what happens, and the first word is... Rim J _ _!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Nobody's got the Herb???

Wow what a jam(b) packed weekend! Friday knight I got to experience Rock Band for the first time. It was fun, but we couldn't get the microphone to work. My main beef with Rock Band is the same one that I had with Guitar Hero, the difference between medium and hard is bigger than Brian's... sideyard. Some good songs, some bad ones, but I guess I would give it a 7 out of 10. Saturday was great, the second bi-annual poker tournament was held at Mikey's house. Some people at the event need to be thanked... Mainly the other 16 people who played, thanks for your money, and finally Bobby Frisch... thanks for all your poker chips! If anyone wants to come over Tuesday and play MLB 08 The Show, paid for in part with your money, you know where I am, the wife will be gone.

This brings me to last knight which was kind of a disappointment on a few different levels. So J, Dunner and myself head up to Oxford for the aformentioned 311 concert, with "high" expectations as usual. The first disappointment was the sound quality. I guess Miami doesn't host a ton of concerts so their equipment is not the greatest in the world, the vocals kept cutting out, and the bass just sounded like one long note the entire time. Imagine holding a plastic cup up to your ear and have someone fart on the outside of it, that's how it sounded. The second and most hugest disappoinment was the fact the we did not even smell a whiff of weed until therewas one song left! WTF man, you are at a 311 concert people, fire up a fatty! Until last knight I was pretty sure the J, Eric and myself were the only 311 fans who didn't smoke the Bubonic, but last knight we met 5,000 more! The funniest part for myself was when I was crunching some numbers in my head while they were playing "Down" which I know many see as 311's only song, but believe it or not they did make more songs. I figured that if the average age of the crowd was 21 (that's on the high end) that they were screaming at the top of their lungs for a song that was written when they were... 8 YEARS OLD!!! Holy crap where has my life gone? It seems like just yeaterday I found this "new band" called three one one, and was introducing it to my new friend "Rusty" (Jason Towe). That was a defining moment in my life when I figured out how old I am.

When did you first realize that you are an old fart?