What a crazy weekend I just had, only problem it was just too dang short! Let's start my recap by stating that "S@%T goes down at the Greenhills Barbershop!" As I'm waiting to get my hair's cut Saturday morning, Al, the barber between Ray (greatest man alive) and Darren tells Darren to call 9-1-1. To which Darren responds why? Al says again "call 9-1-1." My thought was when someone tells you to call 9-1-1, don't ask questions, just call 9-1-1. Anyway, much craziness ensues in the barber chair, the best guess by a paramedic was that he may have had a couple seizures right there. Big shot out to Al for telling darren to call 9-1-1 (3 TIMES!!!). Then just to add some more craziness to the situation, Jermaine (or as darren called him Jerome) Tubbs walks in the door... Looking exactly like he did last time I saw him 10 years ago!
Sunday morning I woke up to a little Poison Ivy, always interesting. So after church, the wife and I went to storage to dig through 15 feet of boxes to find my poison ivy cream that I was sure I wouldn't need 2 weeks ago as we were packing. I decided to take it easy that day, so I took a nap and watched most of the Indy 500 (still bitter I didn't go for the first time in 7 years). During the race it was comical to see our girl Danica go all "racer guy" on Ryan Briscoe. I love race car drivers for one reason, if they wanna fight someone, there is no way in hell their helmet is coming off! She starts walking in the direction of Briscoe's pitbox like a hard ass, knowing there is no way security would let her get that far. If I'm security I let her get down there and get knocked out by his pimp hand. This is the definition of a "no win situation" for Briscoe. If Danica gets to him and punches him in the grill (helmet) and he does nothing, he's a punk for getting punched by a gril. If she hits him then he knocks her out he is a jerk for hitting a girl, loses his job and the National Organization of Women are all over him (which might not be a big deal if they weren't all Amazon's). I just think this was Danica knowing she has a racing league wrapped around her finger and knows she can do whatever she wants, if I was on the track I would have just pulled into the pit and "accidentally" ran the hoe over. My other favorite part was watching Sara Fischer spin out... DURING A CAUTION LAP!!! Stupid woman! She wrecks every year in the first 50 laps and screws somthing up, atleast this year she didn't take anyone else out with her.
So after the race we were off to the Dunn's to have a Memorial day cookout, and I go to take a shower. I look at my poison ivy arm and it is now all over the place, and oh by the way my eyelid was starting to swell up. At that point it was clear that a trip to Urgent Care was in order. Sweet, just what I wanted to do today. So I go to UC, and get my shot and some cream to put on the area and today I am better off for it! God love that doctor at UC she didn't even make me beg for the shot instead of the pills which take 6 days to work.
Not much went down yeaterday, a little laundry, a little shopping followed up by dinner at the in-laws'. That marked the 4th day in a row for me having a hamburger this weekend, and it'll be sad toknight when I slam my head on my pillow hamburgerless! How bout you, howmany burgers did you crush this Memorial Day weekend?
7 comments:
glad i went to Darren's on Friday with Aly. you know, the day Ray was smoking like a friggin' chimney INSIDE!!!
Aly has cancer now.
so what was Jermaine doing there? And, where did you get poison Ivy?
Jermaine works for the Forest Park life squad, I guess I left that part out.
I contracted pioson ivy and VD in lovely Springfield. Just another reason to never go back there, although tomorrow I will be there!
I get wicked poison ivy. Last year I ended up with it in my a-hole. I was at the Dr. office and the doctor wanted to bring some hot intern in to observe his exam. I told him that she needed to sit this one out.
Jermaine or Jerome to those of us who are close to him looks like he hasn't aged a day.
First of all you don't call 911 just because someone says to call 911. Especially if the guy telling you to call is still cutting the victim's hair. You have to have a reason for calling.
Otherwise here is how that 911 call would have gone down:
Them: "911 Emergency."
Me: "Yes, I need you to send someone please right away."
Them: "What do you need sir? Ambulance, Fire, Police?"
Me: "Al, what do I need? He is telling me we need an ambulance."
Them: "Who is the ambulance for, sir?"
Me: "I don't know, there isn't anyone in the shop except the guy in Al's chair and Al is still cutting his hair so he must be fine. Al, who do we need it for? Oh, I guess he needs it for the guy in his chair?
(putting my hand over the phone) Al, you couldn't put down your scissors to make this call. Seriously? You asked me three times to call rather than to stop cutting his hair and call yourself. Seriously, stop cutting his hair! (uncovering the phone)
Anyway, send me an ambulance with Jerome (that's right, Jerome) Tubbs right away."
that's good stuff Darren. Sadly the story wasn't as good as I hoped. Usually when you're in a Barber shop, and someone yells "call 9-1-1" you're hoping that someone got sliced up with the blade while getting a shave. But no, it was just some old dude that fell asleep while getting a hair cut...
sleep, seizure whatever.
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