Let me tell you why DirecTV may just be the devil as much as Time Warner. As I am driving home Sunday afternoon from another colossal waste of $77 I was dreaming of how I could spend the rest of my afternoon watching real football... ANY GAME I WANTED! So I get home and flip on my TV to channel 7 hundred something and what do ya know, no NFL Sunday Ticket! So naturally I call DirecTV and after 20 minutes or so I have my games. NOT IN HD! So I say to her, the HD channels are not coming in. "Well sir you have to UPGRADE your package to get all the games in HD." Then she tells me that doing so will cost me (get ready for it) ONE HUNDRED DAMN DOLLARS!!! Are you kidding me? I immediately tell the lady noo way in hell is the wife gonna authorize that purchase, and she says, "Hold on let me see what I can do" (classic tv company trick). 30 seconds later hey whatta ya know I'll give it to you for free! That right thurr is some bullsh! She was gonna charge me a hundo for something she knew she was gonna give me for free! That's like when I used to be a manwhore, if I said hey it's gonna cost you an extra 35 cents for me to suck your toes, and when they said no I did it for free anyway! I never charged for toe sucking, it was always part of the package!
As I was reading the (online) paper today I read about this old chick in Blue Ash who had a football thrown in her yard and the old blue hair kept it! The kids' dad called the cops and the old lady got cuffed and stuffed and thrown in the pokey for a few hours. I'm sure you have already heard this story, but the crazy part to me is that people are actually backing this old lady! What harm is it to go in your neighbor's back yard and get your ball if it goes over the fence? Maybe this is just me having grown up in PRF where all WAS wonderful and neighbors were all friendly (and all our parents were hooking up with eachother behind our backs), but who is the victim here? How is this affecting the old lady at all? If my neighbors kept every ball that Brian or I threw over the fence when we were little there would be no room in their garage for a car. This lady was on the radio and made it seem like she was soooo inconvenienced by this. How does this bother you at all? They throw the ball over, they open your fence door and get their ball, end of story. Quit being a crotchety old blue hair and give the damn kids their ball back. This is why nursing homes and Dr. Kevorkian exist! One or the other NEEDS to happen.
3 comments:
or, you hit the ball over your fence and exit the yard through your kick ass hidden door in the fence your dad made for you.
or, in scenario #2, you hit the ball on top of Welch and you get a ladder and find 8 dozen baseballs up there from the rest of the hood. that's after you piss on the roof of course.
or, scenario #3, you hit a tennis ball with a wiffle ball bat wrapped in duct tape about 800 feet and make Timmy Werling's fat ass chase it while you walk around the bases.
i can go on and on.
At least she didn't shoot the kids for coming on her lawn like that crazy old man a few years back. My neighbors throw their used needles and old Meth equipment in my yard all the time, but it doesn't bother me. I just pick up the needles and give them to random kids for Halloween. It makes for a fun game I call blood borne disease or Reece's?
I ALWAYS guess reecee's is that a bad thing? PS they better be reecee's pumpkins you're giving away!
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