I Hate Life.

$5

Footlong!






I’m jealous! I hate the fact that on this day I would (gulp!) rather be a UK fan than a UC fan! This feeling sucks. You know, the feeling that we will NEVER have the feeling that UK fans have right now. Any UK fan in their right mind would give their left ball for basketball season to start tomorrow. I on the other hand will need the next 7 months to cleanse myself of another horrible final 6 “basketball” games of UC’s season. I just wish that sometime in my lifetime UC would do something remotely as big (and positive) as what UK did yesterday. I know it won’t happen, but a boy can wish right?

When I was aboot 7 years old I went through a 3 week phase where I tried (my damndest) to be a UK fan. My best friend Derek Schreiber was a huge UK fan and I kind of wanted to be like him and have a similar interest. I had 1 UK outfit, which I wore every other day. Sweat-shorts and a strange looking UK t-shirt (complete with wildcat tongue-penis). After those 3 weeks I just realized that there were certain people who were put on this planet to be UK fans (rednecks) and I simply wasn’t one of them. Right now as I write this, I wish I hadn’t given up. I’d currently be sitting on 2 National Championships (since my entry into fanhood) which is 1 more (Reds have 1) than all of my other teams COMBINED! And UK WILL win 2 in the next 5 years. Look here’s the deal, I LOVE John Calipari, I have since he was at UMASS. Dude is just a solid coach, and flat out the best recruiter in the nation. But here’s my fear, John Calipari + UK = not fair for the rest of the NCAA. UK even with a bad coach (Billy Gillispie) recruits itself just by tradition and recognition. John Calipari has recruited multiple 5 start recruits IN THE SAME YEAR for the past 5 years at Memphis. Memphis, yes Memphis, remember when they were Memphis State? Not a school with basketball tradition and he turned them into a powerhouse in 5 years AND THEY PLAY IN CONFERENCE USA! Kids want to play on the big stage and a Thursday knight game at Tulane, TCU or Houston is not exactly a big stage, and he still got them to come to MEMPHIS! Can you imagine what he will do at one of the most storied schools in one of the best conferences in the nation? I’m thinking that his walk-ons will be 5-star recruits! I heard that KG and Kobe just committed to UK for next year (they have eligibility left). Fact is the competitive scales just tipped big time, and it’s just a matter of time before those obnoxious rednekked (I stopped at 2 K’s to avoid offending some people) UK fans return to WalMart to buy their officially unlicensed UK t-shirts, wife beaters , and trucker caps with fake pony tails sewn in to the back.