Riley Jacob Callahan!

My bad for not posting videos yesterday. I will try to not have another baby on a Friday!!! Dude is awesome, he has big eyes and was wide awake as soon as he came out.

In an unrelated story I passed my LEED AP Test about an hour before I got to the hospital! So I am now officially the dirtiest of hippies. I was planning on making a run to Hemptations, Journeys, and then go to Disc World, but the kid kind fo threwa wrench into my plans....

Anyway here are some pictures of my dude!

No one checks blogs anymore, but here you go.

Holy Crap. She has to be going 150 MPH! Big Balls move of the week.



"It'll leave skid marks on your soul???" Really? My favorite part of Pole Position was when you would simply touch another car and you were vaporized! Ohh the days when you couldn't take a game out of the box and beat it minutes later.



Mountain Biker Slams Tree - Watch more Funny Videos
Lights Out!



Probably Not The Best Idea - Watch more Funny Videos
My Bad.



So my SNL segment has been changed to SNL Digital Short Segment!

Sad...

It deeply saddens me to post this picture, but in the interest of blogging integrity I MUST post the result of the Brenda Warner poll / debate. Look I still think she’s hot, but it seems as though Dunner and I may be responsible for all 6 yes votes. My guy at work simply couldn’t get over the fact that she looked like Ma’am in her past days, and of course the fact that she is Bat Sh*t Crazy! I will say that this thumbs down has ruined my Monday and possibly my week (unless of course the boy decides to make his appearance this week, then it will go from ruined to… o.k.).

This week does promise to be memorable as I am taking some classes Tues, Wed, Thurs to officially become a tree-hugging hippy! Work is having myself and another guy take a LEED Training course this week and take our certification exam next week. What is LEED you ask? LEED is Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design. I think it should be LIEAED, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue like LEED. Basically it will give us the ability to pursue jobs that are being built “green”. My thought is if it gives me some kind of job security (certification is NOT a cheap process) then I am all for it! Really it is a good thing and I think in the next 10 years all construction guys will have to be LEED certified to get a job. It will become similar to having OSHA training right now.

Completely non-related to being a hippie, so the wife and I are at Target (devil) yesterday and I realized how ready she is to be a mother… As we are getting ready to checkout we realize that we forgot to get myself some new undies (*editors note* my last set of new underwear were purchased by my mother, so I’m due for some new ones)! So we head back to the men’s department where they have walls of underwear. There she proceeds to give me a wedgie so she can see the tag on the back of my underwear (I couldn’t remember the brand or size of my drawers). Here I am grown man standing in a Target with my underwear pulled up to my shoulder-blades looking none too amused. I felt like a 5 year old being checked by his mother! By the time this akward exchange has run it’s course we are both laughing so hard that we are in tears and I can’t imagine what others are thinking as we are searching for tagless boxer briefs in size whale (they were fresh out so the saga continues). I can’t wait to go to Victoria’s Secret so I can pull her drawers up over her head!

I make it rain on the hoes.

Project: Toothpicks in my Beard - Watch more Funny Videos
This should be the culmination of facial hair february (which has turned into facial hair january/february). By the way dude, don't worry about getting ANY of those toothpicks in the trash bag at the end of the video.


Funny Soccer Celebration - Watch more Funny Videos
If I ever get invited to play indoor soccer again (I won't) this will be my celebration if I score a goal (I won't).


Asian Teen is Very Awkward - Watch more Funny Videos
You NEED to carve out 3 minutes in your life to watch this! Is that a graphing calculator on his waist? Nick playin drums has got nothin on this guy!


No way he could do that on my old Knight Rider big wheel.


Ok I know that I'm on a boat < Jizz in my pants < Dick in a box, but the fact that T Pain is in it gives this video street cred.

Firecrotch Baby!

Whatt??? Someone tell me how this ever made it out of the concept phase of production. Oh nevermind it's Japanese!

In other news, it’s official we have a shat load of blue stuff for the boy! I knew going in that when you announce that you’re having a boy it turns a light on in women’s heads that they HAVE to buy something blue for the kid. But I was not expecting this amount of blue stuff. Don’t get me wrong I think it is awesome that so many people care that much about us to actually buy our fetus something, but it’s just a lot of blue (I’d rather it be blue than pink). It makes me glad that we painted the room tan! So with all baby showers down, pretty much the only thing that we still have to buy is a pack ‘n’ play. Not bad at all. I figure that will be the first and last hundred dollars that I spend on the kid so it won’t be too bad.

How bout my UC Bearcats though? Look I know that G-Town isn’t exactly tearing it up this year and neither is Notre Dame, but those are 3 wins against teams that we usually don’t beat. UC had never beaten G-Town in Big East play and knocked them off twice this year! Look I know that they still have to finish the year strong (which they have never done under Mick) to make the tournament, but it is great to at least be able to talk about it this year. In order to make it they are going to have to beat either West Virginia, Louisville, at Syracuse, or at Pitt. Which brings me to my next point. Why is Xavier so overrated? I get so sick of Xavier fans talking about their record. I know that they have lost only 1 game in the daunting A-10 so far this year (Duquesne really???) but come on man. Step up to a real conference and we’ll talk. Until then (sorry Simon) like Utah, YOU ARE A MID-MAJOR AND DESERVE NO PROPS!

P.S. I am still devising a way to settle the Brenda Warner tie. It may have to involve someone who has never voted on the original question. I'll keep you posted.

Slim Pickins This Week...

eTrade Baby Outtakes - Watch more Funny Videos
I happen to think all of the E-Trade baby commercials are hillarious. Here are some outtakes.


Awesome Beer Bottle Dominoes - Watch more Funny Videos
Mikey made this video after the epic "Poker Game of 2008"


I also think Triumph is ALWAYS funny.


Little Kid Faceplants Parkour Attempt - Watch more Funny Videos
Freestyle walking is not a crime.


YOUNG CHUCK NORRIS!

Steve Perry is Asian?

So as I am watching (actually I was painting the kitchen) the Super Bowl 12 hour Pregame Show yesterday Journey comes on. Lindsey then asks me who the lead singer of Journey is... I use my Basketball knowlege to answer, Steve Perry. Her next question is, "Is he Asian?" At that point I put down my paint brush and come watch some Asian guy sound EXACTLY like Steve Perry. I later learned that this dude won some karaoke contest to become Journey's new lead singer. What bar was this at? How did I miss out? I'm sure that if they would have seen my karaoke rendition of "Why don't we get drunk... and screw" or "You don't have to call me darlin... darlin" I would be the new singer of Journey! I just don't remember Kurt Loder telling me that Journey broke up.

Now on to the actual reason why I was awake last knight (no not the commercials which mostly sucked) Super Bowl VVVVVVVVIII (sorry I only know that V's are 5 and I's are 1). The game, let's face it was fixed by Obama. Every time they went under the hood to "review" a play they were just consulting with Obama. I call shenanigan's on all of the penalties that they called against the Cards, that was some bullsh! I was the world's biggest Cardinals fan yesterday which I guess sealed the deal for them losing. John McCain ain't got nothin on me as far as being a Cards fan (remember I never trust a man who can't touch the top of his head (I'm going to hell)). I also came to the conclusion on the way home that I would rather see the Steelers lose than the Bengals win! I hate everything about the Steelers and their fans. From their gay towels to their gay players I just hate them.

One thing is for certain, that was the greatest 12 minutes that has ever followed the worst 48 minutes in sports history! What a horrible 3 quarters! I have heard people saying all day that was the greatest Super Bowl EVER! What? Are you kidding me? Where were you for quarters 1-3? This is how I rate the Super Bowl, Quarter 1...2 - Quarter 2...3 (TD taken to the house has to count for something) - Quarter 3...2 - Quarter 4...10. That gives the Super Bowl a 4.25 rating in my book. Sure the 4th quarter was great, but the rest of the game BLEW!

My next observation is this, when did Brenda Warner get hot??? This is her now...



This was her then...



Whatt??? Remember when you looked like Ma'am from Webster?

I have no clue how this happened, OK I do, but still whoever the doctor was that carved up her face was worth every penny! I'm sayin that Brenda Warner is now hot! Voice your opinion to the right.