A Week Begins.

Damnit soccer! Why do you make it so easy for me to ridicule you?



Let me just say something about Kings Island, thank God they are not in the business of organizing 5K’s or 10 K’s or any other K’s. We decided to run the 5 K Sunday morning with the Dunner (keep in mind I’ve run maybe 5 times since the marathon in 2007, and am up about 30 lbs since then). I didn’t have such a good day on the running trail, but we did have fun hanging out at the park. First off, the race started 40 minutes late due to the fact that KI was so disorganized and had HUNDREDS of people in line checking in at the same time the race was supposed to start. Then the trail was 90% parking lot and maintenance roads and 10% in the actual park. Then they had no plan for re-entrance into the park if people want to go home and shower and come back (they stamped our hands BEFORE THE RACE, which we all sweated off during the race.) To say that the Dunner and I ran the park with our running bibs when we returned at 10 is an understatement. First we parked for free, then we just walked straight through the gates, and finally walked right up to the gold pass entrance and got waved through by the security guards just by showing them the bib. We waited longer ON Diamondback then we waited for Diamondback. It took 15 minutes to get on the ride, then we got stuck outside the terminal for 25 minutes when someone had a seizure getting off the ride (yes they told us he had a seizure which pretty much breaks every HIPPA law possible). Then we rode Fire Hawk (the flying ride), then Flight of Fear and the Racer all between 10 and 11:30! It’s pretty certain that if we would have wanted to eat lunch for free or punch SpongeBob in the face or bring back the Dolphins doing Tricks we would have been allowed to AS LONG AS WE HAD OUR RUNNING BIBS! It was like someone said “welp we got no plan so might as well let the runners do whatever the hell they want!” It was great.

Then last knight I watched some golf. I know that I may catch some flack from the sports world for this, but I kind of enjoyed Y.E. Yang’s victory over Tiger yesterday. I did the old “TiVo” it now and watch it when I get home from the in-law’s house again, only this time I knew the outcome before I watched the entire round. Here are the reasons why I was silently rooting for Y.E. (while yelling for Tiger to make a putt (which he cannot)).
1) My dude Y.E. waved to the cameras NO LESS than 317 times during the back nine! No one in golf does that. He embraced the situation for what it was, he was in a no lose situation and he knew it! If he shoots for the stick on every hole and wins he is a national (and global, face it only Amurrikans want Tiger to win) hero. If he bogies out after 12 holes and shoots a 7 over, then he is in the same boat as hundreds of men before him who could not handle the pressure of Tiger’s presence on the final day of a major.
2) I still like Tiger, but his entire schtick is just growing old on me. We know we know if you miss a putt it is because the green didn’t break the way it was supposed to, not because YOU CAN’T PUTT LATELY!!! It just seems that he really believes that he is entitled to win all majors.
3) If you play golf like a pimp for 2 days and like a (kids cover your ears) VAGINA for 2 days you do not deserve to win. I am so tired of seeing him play the safe shot! If you shoot even par and the rest of the field is -3 or -4 guess what? THEY'RE GAINING ON YOU! STEP UP!!!
4) Never again do we have to hear how “Tiger has never lost a tournament when leading after 54 holes.” This alone should have been enough reason for you to be rooting for Y.E. Of course now when Tiger is leading after Saturday it will be “Remember in 2009 when Y.E. Yang played superbly on Sunday to defeat Tiger Woods by 3 strokes, when Tiger was leading after 54 holes. Prior to that no one had ever beaten Tiger when he was leading that late into a Major.” Thanks Jim Nance, now go sit in the Butler Cabin with Hootie until we are ready to hear from you again at Augusta!
5) I can’t remember if I mentioned this or not, but YOU CAN’T PUTT!!! I putt better in my boss’s office with a collapsible putter than you do. Why is everyone else making putts and you are missing them? You suck Tiger! By the way I’ll be rooting for you again in 2 weeks at The Barclays.