Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Sexual Seduction!



Holy Crap what a weekend! Just when you think your life is spiraling out of control and your life is ending (not really) a great weekend comes along and changes EVERYTHING! Rarely do I have a weekend that seems like it lasts forever, but I just did. The best part is that there were no family obligations that usually accompany a long weekend and kill one of the days. Thursday knight after 15 minutes of the Fairfield fireworks we made our way to Lawrenceburg at 11:30 for fireworks. After we sloshed around in the mud there, we settled on the "Big Ass Balls" (gee guess why we picked it) combo pack that had many good explosives in it. Friday was great, I worked on my parents' porch for a while, then we had the big grillout at Justin's house, where we gorged ourselves on hot dogs, Cheerwine, and crick water. Around 9:30 we started blowin stuff up and by 9:50 (maybe 9:45) we were done. $200 well worth it. I think at somepoint in that knight I realized an important thing, fireworks are much better when you are the one setting them off. I know that there are professionals that do the stuff for free and all, but I just love lighting fireworks, it's fun to me. I like the fact that as soon as one shot off we all ran in and punched eachother to light the next one.

Saturday knight was special, to say the least. Dunner and I went to see 311 or three one one. If you remember my last post about a 311 concert, this one will be nothing like that one. This concert reminded me why I love 311, they are incredible live, and the crowd smokes a crap load of weed. As usual this concert was a great people-watching experience. We saw a few 60 year olds in 311 garb, and more high school girls dressed for homecoming, how that happens I have no idea. The highlight of the knight though may have been your boy Snoop Dogg. First they carry out a 6 foot cardboard cutout of a Cognac bottle, and another one of a liquor bottle shaped like a chick. Then the Cou De Gras, a 7 foot pot leaf was hoisted "high" above the stage, much to the crowd's pleasure. Then the music starts and here comes your man Big Snoop Dogg, decked out with Bengals nylon pants, Chand Johnson jersey and orange receiver's gloves, and he's throwin up West Side under the pot leaf. At that point I think to myself... "Why the Hell didn't I bring my camera?" Then late in the set he broke things down and sang a special song for the ladies, "Sexual Seduction!!!"

Sunday Linds and I went to the Reds game with my uncle and aunt, it was great we sat in section 133 (great seats) and we were the last row that was in the shade all game. I'm guessing this was a 20 degree difference from the people in the sun, with no wind. I played the Adam Dunn homerun/strikeout game with my uncle right before Dunner 1.0 hit a 3 run jack. I of course had strikeout, uncle Dave had homerun.

Monday was my big golf tournament with Mo Egger. Let's just say Mo is not that good at golf, it was pretty damn funny. It was hillarious, after the ranger tells us the rules of golf (all of them), Mo tops his drive and it goes 7 feet. So Mo does what any normal hacker would do, we walks over picks it up, walks back to the tee and hits another one. At that point I thought the ranger was going to have a heart attack, and we explained to him that Mo and myself were just there to have a nice fun round of golf. If you don't listen to Mo, he recapped his round of 138 today on his show, but did fail to mention one thing, it was a VERY generous 138! He came in last... BY 31 STROKES! He was funny about it, but at the same time you could tell he was a little pissed/embarassed. Oh well, I had a good time actually. I enjoyed a round of golf for the first time in a long time. My goal was to break 100 and I shot a 97, so I won there. Then I looked online at the results today, and I saw someone with a 5.6 handicap shot a 106! Damn, that is beyond awful. If you don't know much about golf, let me put it in perspective. That is like finding out that your 1st grade reading teacher is illiterate. This is a guy expecting to shoot a 77, and he shot 106. There are people who play their entire life (me included) who are not a 5 handicap and would only dream of shooting a 77, that's the level this guy is on. And he came in third to last place.

Today added to the joy of the weekend when I heard that Ron Mexico is going bankrupt. What's that I smell??? Karma Baby!

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