Weekend...yawn

Haha Shinnecock!


I am 100% certain that the weekend before a long weekend is the most boring weekend you can have, and this past one was no exception. The anticipation of next weekend began last Friday! I played maybe the worst round of golf ever yesterday. I didn't have an awful score (92), but I was just all over the place. Maybe the worst part is that I shot a 92 and made atleast 5 ten foot putts. I think it is just that I remember being so much better at golf than I am now, that sucks! Someone asked me how you get good at golf, and my answer was, "You have to practice more than you play, (duh) but you stil have to play alot." When I was "good" at golf (high 70's to low 80's) I was playing 3 rounds of golf a week and practicing a good 8-10 hours a week. Life is different now, I don't have 20 to 30 hours a week to dedicate to golf. Now I hit the range once in April to make sure I can still hit a ball and play 8-10 rounds in the following 6 months. That's it.

The reason for that rant is that I found out Friday that I won a radio contest! A contest that is frickin sweet, but would have been much more appreciated 9 years ago. I know that I'm the only one who likes Mo Egger, but I won a round of golf with Mo at TPC at Riversbend. Not just any round, they are entering both of us in this Nature's Valley tournament that looks pretty sweet. They are advertising it as "Play like the pro's play" where you play inside the ropes and with galleries of people and all! I guess my first goal will be to not embarass myself, and my second will be to enjoy a course that I have been trying to get on for 8 years! That will be the hard part as it has been a while since I have enjoyed myself on the links. So anyway this tournament is July 7th, so if you have nothing better to do, come out and help me find my Titleist!

IIItttt'ssss Friday!!!

Loves me some beatboxing, too bad he's a damn Frenchie!



Someone please explain to me how this is not Offsides! Granted I failed my S.A.Y. Soccer referee's test, but I always thought you had to be between your goal and the ball. Maybe there is some dumb rule about when the keeper has the ball? I dunno.

Big weekend of working on the parents' patio coming up. Any of you jerks who owe me (you know who you are) expect to be getting a call if Linds isn't strong enough and drops a beam on her head! No actually there is no way I'm using up any of my accrued slave labor on my parents' house. When the new house is done (never) all you bastards better take a month off work and get a hotel room near Maineville! This is where if I were Darren I would explain that this is all a joke and not to take me seriously, but I'm not Darren so guess what? I'm not joking I'm serious. No really though I'm just kidding. Welp it's aboot 2:30 and I feel like going home, so I'm gonna start making my way back from beautiful Springfield, OH.

Some Vidjeos!

Toy Bat Vs Baby Brother - Watch more free videos
Someone found this old home movie of me and Brian!

Crazy Bike Pool Jump Stunt - Watch more free videos
Dude has GIGANTIC balls!

The Best Little Skater in the World - Watch more free videos
Equal opportunity kid video poster! Lil Dunner was the man, Tony Hawk Jr. needs a little work!

Simon this should make you happy, you impatient bastard! I will be at your house around noon tomorrow, I'm playing the golf at 7 AM tomorrow... If anyone wants in on a round of golf at Glenview in the morning call a brother!

We went to Homorama last knight, and I got alot of good ideas for the new house such as... 9 foot solid wood doors, a 5th garage in the basement for storing your 66 Vette, a vanishing edge bathtub where the water pours from the ceiling, and a sunken bar in the basement with 4 plasmas. I should be able to incorporate all of these into the new crib. The biggest problem with this years houses was pretty clear... 12 houses not a single frickin URINAL! WTF man if I'm dropping 2.45 mil on a house, bet your balls I'm gonna be able to pee into a urinal in ATLEAST one of the bathrooms, preferably the basement AKA Man's Room. So the question is, who wants to go in on a house with us. I'm thinkin it's gonna take atleast 8 couples to make this affordable. The good thing is that we can get a 10,000 sqft house and we will not have to see eachother unless we want to. Please make checks payable to cash and send them to me, I'll forward them onto the builder! Trust me.

Call Me Bill Dance Jr.

Gymnast Overshoots Landing Mat - Watch more free videos

Gotta love The Onion! So sad that it is true, all the WoW Tools would definitely buy World of World of War Craft.

In other news, a good weekend was had at Norris Lake this past weekend, the best news of all is that I CAN STILL WALK! And God knows that I tested my back by going tubing for the first time since I was 12. It was fun being dragged around the lake at 48 MPH by Lindsey's step brother. We had a pretty badass jet ski that topped out at 59 MPH. If you've never gone 59 on the water let me tell you it is crazy, you're crying from the wind hitting your eyes, and if you hit the smallest wake you're goin for a ride! Also, I may have rediscovered my love for fishing this weekend. Lindsey will attest, if anyone was looking for me the answer was most likely "down on the lake fishing." It was so peaceful and relaxing, I caught 3 smallmouth bass, and 1 largemouth, and if you summed up their lengths they may add up to 13 inches. Still catching a fish is one of the most enjoyable things one could ever do on a boat (except for sex).

Finally we were so wiped out Saturday knight after 2 days of boating that we just watched Tiger play the best back 9 ever! Yee to the Ikes, I really didn't think he could top a 60 foot eagle putt straight down hill. Then he chips in on 16 and drops a 45 foot bender on 18 for another eagle! Holy crap how impressive was that, oh yeah and he did it all on 1 leg... Crazy! The only bad part about the U.S. Open is that no one is going to see it today since it's on at noon and will be over by 4:30.

Today I arrived at work to the typical "day after vacation crap." No lie there was so much paper on my desk, I couldn't see the front of it. As of lunchtime, I would say that I am approximately 1/4 of the way through the stack, but can finally see my desk. That is the worst part of going on vacation... Nobody does your work when you're gone so it just piles up. So in the immortal words of Tim Callahan, "You wanted a job."

Lil Dunner???

Eric Dunn where were you 3 years ago today? You might be this kids father! How awesome is that dude? Anyway I will be trying not to break myself on a boat this Friday so this is my submission for VIDEO FRIDAY!!! The inlaws rented a house at Norris Lake so we are heading down Thursday morning for a much needed weekend of relaxation, boating, fishing and Miller Chill!!! My mother in law already has a full stash of Vicadin if I decide to do anything dumb like last year, but I plan on taking it easy and just fish alot. Have a good weekend, and have fun working Thursday and Friday SUCKERS!

Here you go Simon...

How Not To Throw In - Watch more free videos

Crocodile Mile is for Girls!

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Is this what I missed on Spring Break? I mean Simon's sisters' house was fun and all, but I would much rather break myself being pulled by a jetski to my certain death!

In a related story I did not get to the Cyclones game last knight! Response was not what I expected it to be from you schmucks so I decided that it would most likely be no fun by myself. They did win though, so I will be referring to Cincinnati as... TITLE TOWN... or HOCKEYTOWN!!! That is all, have a good weekend, Simon and Steve Bragg are about to fight again on WacMcs so read that if you get bored this weekend!

Derek... You Bastard!

Derek said that it was going to rain, not that we were going to die... TODAY! Holy crap, have you looked out a window today? If Jesus comes back before I roll off this ball of 75% water it's going to be today, or a day similar to today. For that reason I have on clean underwear and a nicely pressed shirt (we should strive to look our best for our dad). As I was eating my frosted mini wheats this morning I looked out the back window and it just looked ominous, just like I remembered the knight the great tornado of 1990 hit PRF.

In a related note, I think I have realized why my little niece is 3 1/2 and finally hit the 30 lb. dream. Kids' food tastes horrible. I stopped at Krogers on the way home last knight to help out since Linds was beer bitchin it, and picked up everything needed... except for the yogurt I usually get. I am fairly regimented when it comes to my lunches, either grilled chicken salad or chicken fajita soup, bag of sun chips and a yogurt. Every day. So as i am packing up my lunch this morning I realize that I forgot the yogurt and had no one to yell at but myself (this is why Linds does the shopping, so I can yell at her). So i look in the frige and the parents have some of Aly's Dora yogurt in there so I figure it's this or nothin, and grab the strawberry yogurt. I just got done yarfing that down and I must say that is about the worst thing I have ever put in my mouth (this is your que to list the awful things you have put in my mouth in the comments section). On the side of the 2 oz. container Dora says, "Vamonos!" which is lightly interpreted as "I am a little skank and eating this crap will kill you!" So to Brian and Mindee I say, stick up for your kid and stop feeding her this crap! Let her eat steak, and catfish and regular yogurt like a big human.

Bruce Boner!

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